He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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