is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
