Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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