p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
