I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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