Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
