I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
