Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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