Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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