would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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