K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
