butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
