I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
