I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
