Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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