I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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