are you still at the devil's house?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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