You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
