Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
sarcasm needs its own font
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize