I cut my penus on the lid.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
