Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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