chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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