Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
