we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
