got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
