Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
