it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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