Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
