she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
