dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
