I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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