Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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