i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
