At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
