gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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