how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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