Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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