It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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