Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
