There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
