Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
