Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
