This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We're too hungover to prance.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
