I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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