Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
