Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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