He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
