i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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