i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
