More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
40s are totally the cure
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
