The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
