He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
