My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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