I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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