I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
