Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
