lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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