She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
